We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Randomize
