keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
