My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
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