Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
