I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
and she was petting her beer can
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
