What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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