and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
