i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
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