Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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