Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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