Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
