I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
