you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
