does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
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