If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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