R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
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