Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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