WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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