Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
