Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
