He told me they were just razor bumps!
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
