didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
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