Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
