jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
