Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
