my mouth tastes like poor choices
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
