His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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