dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I love having hate sex.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
