So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Randomize
