maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
