Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Life is so much better after having sex.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Drunk is a universal language darling
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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