ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
