Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
