while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
