Your mouth is God's brothel.
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Randomize
