Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
