She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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