I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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