marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I queefed so loud it echoed.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
