I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
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I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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