i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I have post one night stand depression
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
