I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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