In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Randomize
