I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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