I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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