I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Randomize
