I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
