i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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