Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
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