So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
