I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
