You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
