Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Randomize
